Show newer

[hits u over the head with a steel folding chair and it makes a looney tunes bonk sound as u get flattened into an accordion shape]

Show thread

[hits u over the head with a steel folding chair and it makes the botw weapon-shatter sound]

the durability on your dick and balls has dropped to (0)

also in the funniest possible world, if the ms drop to the third wildcard spot and then won the wildcard game (which would be vs cleveland, easy money), theyd face the yankees in the ALDS,,, again,,,,

(which is honestly preferrable, cuz if they stay in the 2nd wildcard spot theyll have to face the Astros in the ALDS 😬)

Show thread

(yes mike trout and chris young also had 25/25 seasons in their rookie year, but it wasn't their *debut* - they had both played the year before, but only partial seasons)

Show thread

the mariners, seeing Julio Rodrìguez become the first player ever to hit 25 home runs and steal 25 bases in their debut major league season: is that good

Show thread

the mariners, seeing Julio Rodrìguez get an OPS over 1.000 in the AA minors: is that good

Show thread

did i mention their best hitter is a rookie, who has also stolen 25 bases so far and completely skipped the AAA level of the minor leagues

Show thread

on June 20th, the mariners were 29-39; now, they're 80-63.... meaning that of their last 75 games, theyve won 51, to just 24 losses

Show thread

uwu, i look just like buddy holly
owo, and youre mary tyler moore

also: baseball-reference gives them a 99.5% chance to make the playoffs, which would - for those not keeping track - be their first time at the postseason since Two Thousand Fucking One, aka The Longest Active Playoff Drought In All Four Major American Pro Sports

Show thread

fun stat: the mariners are the only team of the six currently holding a wildcard spot with a positive record against above-.500 teams

watch a complete maddux game and you probably wont see his catcher have to move theit glove more than a few inches lmao, thats a lot harder than improving your velo and spinrate a few ticks

Show thread

(also maddux's velocity was actually pretty normal for his era, he wasn't a power pitcher but he was only a "soft-tosser" in comparison to statcast-era pitchers or generational power pitchers like Pedro and Randy Johnson)

Show thread
Show older
chickenfan.club

Jacie's personal mastodon instance; open only to cool friends.