people dunk on bill clinton because they're haters and jealous

every youtuber is racist

friendships on the internet are actually MORE fake and parasocial AFTER you meet the people in person and become friends who hang out irl

people who boosted the post that started this thread are partaking in schadenfreude by wanting to see me get canceled, which is cringe culture, and therefore fascist (this counts as a hot take)

music: trash. who needs it

hippopotamuses are the capitalists of the animal kingdom

boris johnson is actually doing a postmodernism, which is subversive and leftist

young people like electronic music because they're afraid of skills

the antifa leadership is actually super problematic so lets just say if i see that your associated with them i am giving you the BIGGEST side-eye

having a big dick actually really sucks. nobody should do it

it is morally evil to do well at school

guitar is a good and positive instrument. piano? deeply malevolent

foreplay is actually kinda oppressive

the pope: secretly an ally. the pope is working on a secret plan to dismantle the deep state of the vatican (the deep vat)

mariachi band music is better than hip hop

people need to stop making "mastodon is crumbling" jokes because they make me hungry for crumble

snails are good

offal tastes good

that maggot cheese looks delicious, id eat it

avril lavigne is better than ariana grande

mastodon is friendster for zoomers

they should bring back google +

they should make it impossible to mute me

screenshot dunking and quote tweeting is actually good. people are opposed to it because their actually afraid of revolutionary violence

VR is the future of gaming

all teachers are cops. wait somebody already did this one

e girls are cops and reply guys are antifa

call me by your name is a trash movie because the title is too confusing

people who have opinions about tool are nerds who should be oppressed

super mario is anime

if you know any fediverse people irl your oppressing the rest of us who dont have friends

tuba is just a better synth

i am the shakira of mastodon

it is always better to call someone and leave a message than to text them. sending someone a voice message without calling them first? you should be arrested

you should NOT be allowed to dress in joker cosplay if you are not twisted or damaged, i do NOT want to see any more jokerface on my tl

mao had a thick, juicy ass

@garfiald you know sometimes you can leave a thought *inside* your head

@jacethechicken @garfiald

I mean, garf right tho💦​

damn 同志 let me see that zeDONG ​