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No sir; I do not clap my ass at you, sir, but I do clap my ass.

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D&D lets you live out all kinds of fantasies, such as:
-Having everyone call you by your preferred name and gender
-Having a big group of friends who do everything together
-Making a reasonable wage as a freelancer
-Being able to murder the terrible leadership of your country
-Getting 8 hours of sleep

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me: [at the podium at Soulja Boy's funeral]
I'd like to read you something that Soulja wrote, and that really affected me personally.
[clears throat, sniffling slightly]
I'm so fresh, you can suck my nuts,
I'm so fresh. . . you can suck my nuts.

audience: [through tears] Swag.

I'm much more insufferable there, and much more likely to fight an ancap in a Denny's parking lot

Twitter dirtbags 

some people from Northern Europe preserved a bird in a tin. or: 

new avi hand drawn by my irl friend via Snapchat and made me laugh for 5 minutes

alc, mh~ 

my favorite game when some alt-right cryptofash hops in my Twitter mentions and tries to Control The Conversation is to just ignore what they say and send them an annotated screenshot of their bio. it takes a minute or so more, but it's so much more fun.

(and it doesn't concede all the implicit things that would be required to even argue on the terms they set -- that's how Control The Conversation works)

how much of a dumbasse am I?? when I log into something on a library computer, there's about a 50% chance I type my password into the username field

I'm a slut for church songs. Guess you could call me a hymnbo

me grumbling about twitter, but via shitpost 

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