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pronouns update!
-xe/xem/xyr: my favorite! especially the "xyr" part, love that
-ey/em/eirs: also cool!
-fae/faer/faers: especially if I'm doing something chaotic
-other neopronouns: sure, mix it up! hell yeahh
-they/them/theirs: the Coward's Choice, but acceptable
-she/her/hers: has Flirtatious Implications, only if you know me

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D&D lets you live out all kinds of fantasies, such as:
-Having everyone call you by your preferred name and gender
-Having a big group of friends who do everything together
-Making a reasonable wage as a freelancer
-Being able to murder the terrible leadership of your country
-Getting 8 hours of sleep

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me: [at the podium at Soulja Boy's funeral]
I'd like to read you something that Soulja wrote, and that really affected me personally.
[clears throat, sniffling slightly]
I'm so fresh, you can suck my nuts,
I'm so fresh. . . you can suck my nuts.

audience: [through tears] Swag.

i find it exceptionally rewarding to be the weirdest person on here

either he's near-transparent or absolutely miniscule, but either way he's Very Pretty. need to get me a Vanishingly-Small boyfriend πŸ₯Ί

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I know Come Together is mostly nonsense lyrics, but "got to be good lookin', cuz he's so hard to see" really speaks to me

I'd be a lot better at chess if I didn't just occasionally do stuff without thinkin about it first lol

I love it when the white guy in our D&D group goes "I wanted you all to flatter my ego but no one noticed so let me bring it up" AD VERBATIM

frodo: [puts on the ring]
sauron: [excited dark lord noises]

block rec, racism, anti-semitism 

I mean, this shit just writes itself.

poa dot st - whole instance seems full of shit.


bought 4 pounds of sour gummy worms cuz I've lost control of my life

if you're gay and like Achewood: hell yeah, me too
if you're straight and like and/or wrote Achewood: I am suspicious

new headcannon: [morphs my head into a 105mm howitzer and blows you tf up]

freshman-year me would be so surprised that anyone let me be in charge of anything

was trynna beat the last level of super hexagon again (cuz ive only ever done it once) and. fuckigngasdkjgfbakwer

@jacethechicken it reminds him of the Asian family he keeps imprisoned in his basement

Listen PLEASE stop open palm slamming your VHS tapes in to your VCR. These are old technologies that grow more and more fragile with age. Be gentle so they last longer. Thank you.

whenever I scoop on mtga I like to psych them out first. like. float 4 mana, and *then* concede

i saw an old guy with traveling bags and stuff stick his thumb out, and i did it back because i was thinking 'oh cool nice have a thumbs up too' but like i now realise he was a hitchhiker

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Jace's personal Mastodon instance