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pronouns update!
-xe/xem/xyr: my favorite! especially the "xyr" part, love that
-ey/em/eirs: also cool!
-fae/faer/faers: especially if I'm doing something chaotic
-other neopronouns: sure, mix it up! hell yeahh
-they/them/theirs: the Coward's Choice, but acceptable
-she/her/hers: has Flirtatious Implications, only if you know me

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D&D lets you live out all kinds of fantasies, such as:
-Having everyone call you by your preferred name and gender
-Having a big group of friends who do everything together
-Making a reasonable wage as a freelancer
-Being able to murder the terrible leadership of your country
-Getting 8 hours of sleep

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me: [at the podium at Soulja Boy's funeral]
I'd like to read you something that Soulja wrote, and that really affected me personally.
[clears throat, sniffling slightly]
I'm so fresh, you can suck my nuts,
I'm so fresh. . . you can suck my nuts.

audience: [through tears] Swag.

they have to put pito flatteners in the vaccine because the 5g makes your meat too big. please don't spread misinformation


did somebody stay "bolas's citadel stipulation??" yes i said that

cuz like. stalling intentionally isn't allowed, but people do it so much on here just cuz there's never any consequences, cuz nobody knows the report option exists

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it's so unintuitive that the only way to report people for conduct in arena is through the "report a bug" dialog lol, they gotta fix that. put it as an option next to mute.

mtga cube 

I drafted a gem of a mostly-red rakdos deck with hazoret, torbran *and* toralf, **and** glorybringer

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mtga cube 

somebody just killed me with gonti taking *my* hazoret!!

"you're honor, in my defense,,,, the rat that lives in my hat made me shoot the president"

if you rope people on arena intentionally, you're dead to me

I want a shower handle where if you turn it all the way around, it goes back to cold

fun facct: there are more atoms in the universe than there are atoms in the universe

did you know there's more atoms in a single grain of salt than in the entire universe

[to the tune of baby shark]
pee your pants,
do do dodododo

monarchs these days cant cook,, all they know is be incestuous, perpetuate imperialism, own corgis, eat hot chip and die

hello guys just came back from the royal palace. no i wont tell you what i was doing there. oh prince philip is dead??? how out of the blue

what if in the matrix u took the red pill and blue pill at the same time,, would that be fucked up or what

List of people who dislike Monads:

Seattle liberals
Horny teenagers
The staff of FurAffinity
The Dutch

actually Prince Philip is Greek, Southern Europeans are PoC. this is extremely racist, and not to mention imperialist I mean have you seen what the EU did to Greece?

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Jace's personal Mastodon instance