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stop saying "my kid could paint that," and start saying "my kid *will* paint that!" the time is now to introduce your child to the lucrative world of art forgery

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D&D lets you live out all kinds of fantasies, such as:
-Having everyone call you by your preferred name and gender
-Having a big group of friends who do everything together
-Making a reasonable wage as a freelancer
-Being able to murder the terrible leadership of your country
-Getting 8 hours of sleep

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me: [at the podium at Soulja Boy's funeral]
I'd like to read you something that Soulja wrote, and that really affected me personally.
[clears throat, sniffling slightly]
I'm so fresh, you can suck my nuts,
I'm so fresh. . . you can suck my nuts.

audience: [through tears] Swag.

sadly, scryfall does not have a tag for Twink. there is a "Bear (Body Type)" tag tho,,

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its-a me! the bitch whos gonna-a kill-a Chris Prat with a nailed baseball bat! yahoo!!

schrodinger: the cat is in a superposition of alive and dead
cat: mrow
schrodinger: fuck. shit,

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"you dont know if the cat is dead or alive until you open the box" what if they freakin Mrow, huh?? you'd hear that wouldntcha?!? didnt think about that one, eh shrewdinger

china banned crypto and elon musk's gf broke up with him,, everyone check in on the single most annoying guy you've met in your life

The Church Of The Holy Chicken declares itself in opposition to the heretical Worm Cult

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the early bird gets the worm πŸ¦πŸ“πŸ”βš”οΈπŸ›πŸ›

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this poster has taken the bird oath

@req I put llama milk in my coffee, call that an alpacacchino

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