Pinned toot

D&D lets you live out all kinds of fantasies, such as:
-Having everyone call you by your preferred name and gender
-Having a big group of friends who do everything together
-Making a reasonable wage as a freelancer
-Being able to murder the terrible leadership of your country
-Getting 8 hours of sleep

Pinned toot

when the moon hits your knees
and you mispronounce trees

Pinned toot
Pinned toot

me: [at the podium at Soulja Boy's funeral]
I'd like to read you something that Soulja wrote, and that really affected me personally.
[clears throat, sniffling slightly]
I'm so fresh, you can suck my nuts,
I'm so fresh. . . you can suck my nuts.

audience: [through tears] Swag.

weird to be nostalgic about something from earlier this year

before & after 

two dudes, sitting in a hot tub, one always tells the truth and one always lies, what question can you ask to determine which (if either) are gay

[Southern English Accent] This is BBC World News, I'm Jacie Smithson. In Saudi Arabia today, three thousand drilling employees went on strike, after one of the major oil barons declared that he would be paying his workers, in exposure. And in the UK today, a referendum was passed with 63% of the popular vote, which would require everyone who speaks with a Posh Southern Accent to say the word Mahogany at least thrice a day. This has been the World News, mahogany mahogany.

obvi it's closer to his real accent than the BBC World News English accent he puts on for Doctor Who and the like. but he's hamming it up so good and I love it.

David Tennant's thicc scottish Scrooge McDuck accent gives me life

Two men on the side of the road, one can only tell the truth, the other can only eat massive amounts of top ramen and cry himself to sleep

me, during dinner: "the lord yeeteth, and the lord yoinketh away" ///
my entire family: ///

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