Pinned toot

me: [at the podium at Soulja Boy's funeral]
I'd like to read you something that Soulja wrote, and that really affected me personally.
[clears throat, sniffling slightly]
I'm so fresh, you can suck my nuts,
I'm so fresh. . . you can suck my nuts.

audience: [through tears] Swag.

Pinned toot

⚠️⚠️ This is America, ⚠️⚠️
⚠️⚠️MILFs in your area!⚠️⚠️

Pinned toot

reasons I can make fun of white people:
- I am white people
- Racism against white people isn't a thing
- You literally don't need a reason
- Anyone can make fun of white people at any time for any reason

Pinned toot

πŸ‘Don'tπŸ‘CallπŸ‘ItπŸ‘AπŸ‘TraditionalπŸ‘MarriageπŸ‘UnlessπŸ‘ItπŸ‘SecuresπŸ‘AnπŸ‘AllianceπŸ‘BetweenπŸ‘RivalπŸ‘Fiefdoms

oh hey its lynne

*looks up australian time to make fun of lynne being up at a bad hour*

*its actually a perfectly normal hour to be up*

*this post no longer has a punch line*

*hi lynne*

minor victory for today: got to use the words 'nary' and 'nigh' in the same paragraph

me: [at the podium at Soulja Boy's funeral]
I'd like to read you something that Soulja wrote, and that really affected me personally.
[clears throat, sniffling slightly]
I'm so fresh, you can suck my nuts,
I'm so fresh. . . you can suck my nuts.

audience: [through tears] Swag.

is there a name for when you mix up two antonyms and wind up saying something the wrong way around? cuz I do that so god damn often

android dev: where should we display the FAB
my brain, every fucking time: what does Fall Out Boy have to do with anythi-- wait that's an A not an O, i-- ohhhh floating action button

using a radioactive isotope RNG to create completely random button mash strings so i can type gayer than everyone else

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chickenfan.club

Jace's personal Mastodon instance